The Suburban Beast

by The Hornets

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The Suburban Beast was written at a time when Bruce Haymes, Jeff Burstin and myself were turing 50. The album explores the experience of middle-class white men entering middle-age with all our triumphs regrets and fears - a first world experience no doubt, but an experience non-the-less.


released June 1, 2003

Craig Horne vocals, acoustic guitar
Jeff Burstin, electric, acoustic guitars and mandolin
Bruce Haymes, all keyboards, drums harmony vocals, guitar
Stuart Speed, acoustic bass.



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The Hornets Melbourne, Australia

The Hornets have been described by The Age Newspaper as Melbourne's best blues band. Featuring ARIA Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees Jeff Burstin on guitar, Wayne Duncan on bass, together with ARIA winner Bruce Haymes on keyboards, Chris Tabon on drums and singer/song writer Craig Horne on guitar and vocals, the Hornets, with 6 acclaimed CD's to their name, have been buzzing for over 20 years. ... more

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Track Name: All Blues Singers are Liars
All Blues Singers are Liars
Hey man I'm having an affair
With beautiful woman with strawberry blond hair
She's willing to do anything for me
Like bang me on the bed-stead she won't let me be
She work me in to a red hot fire
But I wanna warn you, blues singers are liars

I wanna tell you what you orta know
Her fabled moves make the juices flow
She never tires she goes on and on
With her tinkling fingers
And her tunnelling tongue
She do it in the kitchen by the rotary drier
Wanna warn you, blues singers are liars

she's a sexual criminal and jail is waiting
She's been found guilty of serial felting
She screams and comes when I call her on the phone
And commits atrocities while we're all alone

She do it with noises you name the position
To achieve world's best practice
Is our stated mission
We catalogue our sexual gluttony
It's our contribution to posterity
She pours hot fat on my flaming desire
I wanna warn you, blues singers are liars
Track Name: The Suburban Beast

Billboards hide the view from sight,

He was barrelling down the highway in the morning light,

He was laughing with his head thrown back,

Cause he got somethin’ other people lack.

Suburbanitise, he don’t wanna know, ‘You keep the dog and the house babe I got to go’.


He was nearly 50 with his hair all gone

Then he got retrenched one Friday morning,

It could have bin the punchline to his life,

Driving down the highway with no mortgage, with no wife

Suburbanitise, he don’t wanna know, ‘You keep the dog and the house babe I got to go.’

Here he comes the suburban beast,

Comin’ outta the sun, comin outta the east,

He’s had some liposuction, a nip and a tuck,

He got a pistol in his pocket and he don’t give a …


Well he was driving for hours with the wind in his face,

Bein’ irresponsible, bein’ a disgrace,

But then he woke to the sound of the bell

He was dreaming of heaven, livin’ middle aged hell.
Track Name: Certain Age
Certain Age

When you get to a certain age
You gotta do things right,
You gotta go to work each day and come home sober each night
When you get to a certain age.

When you get to a certain age,
Ya gotta stop smoking that dope
Stop hanging around this dead-beat friends who've got no jobs no hope
When ya get to a certain age

When ya get to a certain age
Ya stop driving that hotted-up Ford
Ya gotta drive a family wagon with a sign, "baby on board"
When ya get to a certain age

When get to certain age
You gotta ignore that girl across the street
She might have long shiny legs and a body to make you weep
But she's young and optimistic and all so very sweet…(you paedophilic creep)
And your old and indifferent, you anin't no sexual athlete
Cause you've reached a flaccid age
Track Name: My Music is Dead
my music is daed
It took a bullet in the head
My drummers hands are still
It was against his will
my bass player's in jail
i can't afford his bail

My piano player is spent
The trumpet player is bent
The Fender twin is dead
The roady's off his head
The saxophone is broke
The mixers had a stroke

The thrill is gone
The roadshow has moved on

The promoters all left town
Their neon sign fell down
The punters stay at home
The singer stands alone
The riders drunk and gone
The band will not go on

Now young girl's like meat
Pulse in the juicy heat
They move in a trance
Of sweet ignorance
They will come undone
Like homer's Paragon

All that is made
Soon withers and fades
Like the set list on the floor
Ain't there anymore
I never cared until
I saw that mansion on the hill
Track Name: The Dumb Drone of Life
Now the house is empty
The ids have left home
We sit at night, with the TV on
I don't know when, we were no longer young
And i don't know when, words dried up on my tongue

And i don't know if, I've stopped loving you
And I don't know if you stopped loving me too
Stopped loving me too

Was it the drone of life, that made us forget
The hot blast of love when we first met
Was it the weight of words, screamed in rage
That made us so numb, made us disengage

But I remember the night, you descended the stairs
Saying sometime happiness catches me unawares
I'd come in from the cold, shaking a head full of rain
I smiled with relief, said I feel the same

Track Name: Thank God for the Ease
Thank god for the Ease
C F C x 2
It was a bleak September morning, the north wind roared
When you told me you were leaving, you were terminally bored
G F C x 2
How did I feel…it would be the same for us all
My sorrow was a scene on a painted wall

You said…“I’ve met another that I love best”
You’re just a demimondaine in a Gaultier dress,
Well, I won’t be cryin’ to a desolate sky
My back is unbroken and I don’t wanna die
My life has changed like a cool summer breeze
G Am
I sink down to my knees
I thank god for the ease
Of my great responsibilities
Then I started thinkin in the eye of my worst day
You can pay the mortgage, but here I’ll stay
You can pay all the cards the loan for the car
Am F G C
That cash you’ve been stashin well it wont go far

Well ya wanna reconsider…well how did I know
You want reconciliation…HA! You gotta go
My eyes are dry, though ya done your worst
I wish I did it to you before you did it to me first

Last line x 3 out
Track Name: The Hippy Trail
it was so many years ago
We left behind pain and sorrow
And said on a free wind
That took us from Bali to Berlin.

Nepal was too raw in snow
We needed warmer places to go
slow kisses on the eye-lids of sin
On sunburnt beaches with the tide rolling in

Drunken Boat sails us us straight to the devil
Drunken boat sails us straight to hell

You went through your chemical daze
Then went through an Indian faze,
You took an inward journey
To find your Divine Light
I left you at that crossroad in the middle of the night

I tried to forget that I love you the most
Like light I sped everywhere, I was the holy ghost
You materialised in Paris, burnt out and used,
Life had sucked the life from your eyes
You were confused.

So our Odyssey was over,
we took the long road home
But everything was changed, we were alone.
Our friends were all now comfortable, they had refined taste
With all so fragile values that were easily replaced.

With indifference we shuffled through our life
Me your broken husband, you my silent wife.
Winter had rolled in it chilled us to the bone
You left me, it was expected,
Now you live alone.
Track Name: I Am Afraid
I am afraid of the dark
Of shapeless silence so deep and stark
Images reeling in my head
I don't like the dark it's way lies ahead

I am afraid

Sometimes I see unimagined light
Silent and swift from the dead of the night
it illuminates the terrible blade
Hold me now because I am afraid

I am afraid

Now the cold turns my blood to stone
And shatters my heart and freezes my bone
Then I howl at the sky, that I want mto live
But the moon is dead and god can't forgive

Now time and the bell have buried the day
The black cloud has taken the sun away
A white collar corpse holds my head in its hand
Am Iam afraid of what I can't understand
Track Name: Royal Park
Royal Park

Walking through the park,
with the wind at my back
watchin’ a storm roll black,
across the low lands, the Flemington flats,
An autumn storm viewed from the park.

Above the hills and smoke stacks,
The first kick of winter cracked
And memory came flooding back
An autumn storm viewed from a park

I remember how I,
watched you go, I watched you go
Why I did, I’ll never know

The slow thump of heavy rain
Washed from you a strangers name,
And life would be the same,
An autumn storm viewed from the park.

chorus x2

I moved along through heavy weather
To the sanctuary of a smoking shelter
As the storm beat on into the night
An autumn storm viewed from a park.

Chorus x2
Track Name: Going Home
Going Home…(that's it)
Track Name: I Can't Get You Off My Mind
I was shipwrecked on a coal- black sea
Holed by a reef of hostility
Now i drifted until the days end
And like drowned man I pensively descend

We fought like drunken sailors on leave
Savage words bought you to my knees
My regret broke with the break of day
But your cold eyes watched me shiver away


Can't get you off my mind
Close my eyes and i can't keep from crying
I want to forget you, I keep on trying
But I can't get you off, my mind.

A gull flies low across the bay
Your contempt carried you away
I followed through wind rain and light
But you disappeared into the anonymous night

So now I sail on the lashing tide
Unmoored by all that has died
The maelstroms groan is fifty leagues away
As I roll into another brooding day